We're twenty something math is hard days out from WrestleMania 33 and the card is starting to shape up... into something rather unremarkable.
Look, I get that the show could wind up being amazing. Anything can happen and anyone can rise up and perform greater than our expectations - but just based on the card and how the matches feel, the emotional investment just isn't quite there. Everything feels rather cold for the most part. I'm all in on Jericho vs. Owens, of course, but it'll always bug me that Owens didn't immediately demand a Universal title rematch. I understand that he never wanted to fight Goldberg in the first place and there's a cowardly heel aspect to all of this, but just skipping over the whole rematch part of the story is irksome.
So even with the match I'm looking forward to the most, right now, there's an asterisk. I'm looking forward to the RAW woman's match, but the "creative" getting there is very hiccup-y. Yes, even the matches I do like now come with a certain amount of bumpy baggage. Maybe the remedy to this is to skip all WWE TV until 'Mania and then just go into the show with a set of semi-refreshed eyes. Okay - EL OH EL - I know that's not possible. For me, anyhow. But the more I watch how these bouts are being set up, the more I wither and wilt.
Goldberg vs. Lesnar, for the Universal Championship, certainly has a "big fight" feel. That's what people love to say. It's a marquee match. There's a lot of beef in there. It's sirloin season. But I'm not emotionally invested in it at all. Oh, I'll get several kicks out of it if Goldberg squashes Brock yet again, but that's petty amusement at best. I was hoping that Goldberg, in his fight with Owens, would have broken out a couple more moves to make us more confident in his ability to wrestle more than 30 seconds (give us two or three minutes at least), but there's was nothing there to water the seeds of hope.
Miz and Maryse vs. Cena and Nikki should be fun, though perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of it is that Cena, Mr. John "Occasionally Obscured from View" Cena, is in a mid-card mixed tag match with his girlfriend at 'Mania. Yes, that is quite a step down from that old hypothetical match with Undertaker. You think John will propose to Nikki in the ring after they win? And do you think she'll violently convulse and then scream and snarl "NOOOOOOOOO" at him like Ultimate Warrior did to Sherri when she begged for the Macho King to get a title match?
Then there's Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns. It's not what any of us wanted. Especially the part where Roman most likely goes over Undertaker in what's presumedly the Deadman's final match. That's just utter pigpiss. BUT this is really the closest we've come to getting Roman as a heel since he began his single's career. Now we can loudly BOOOOO and know that, honestly, we're supposed to. They're not going to try and make him the hero here. There's no way anyone with an intact heart and soul would root for Roman over Undertaker. Especially at the Grandest Yard of Them All where the winner gets to be crowned King Yard. Serious question, who wants to be the dog that rules a yard? How many dogs are there in a typical yard? Like, three at most? The rest is all milkshakes.
In the meanwhile, to satiate our savage need to see "The Guy" get his yard handed to him, there will always be this here chokeslam...
Holy crap, we needed that. After the sort of fetid flatness of Fastlane, that was the perfect end to RAW. Even if it was for a match that we might not be all that into. Again, it's a "big fight" feel match, but there's a hollowness. If we're looking for highly emotional vengeance-fueled feuds this 'Mania, it's really just Owens and Jericho. Rollins and Triple H will do something, but it won't be a match. There'll be a segment with violence, but it's not the same.
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