We're only a week away from Lethal Leap Year and the big showdown between Big Bartholomew and the Sea Creature!
Also, will Tex Ferguson even be in any shape to fight his former friend Chad 2 Badd? Both of his eyes are gone!
Naturally, as you could have easily predicted ahead of time because I'm a foolish baby forever doomed to distraction, all I really want to talk about this week is Southpaw Regional Wrestling. For those out there uninitiated, here's the first taste...
Yes, last Friday WWE unleashed a funny AF four-part parody of 70s/80s-era territory wrasslin' featuring Cena, Fandango, Jericho, Rusev, Gallows, Anderson and more in goofy gimmicky roles, in what was a terrific throwback to lovingly shoddy TV production and ridiculous angles of the past. It was a home run/slam dunk/hole in one/puck in goal/winning sports term that really was quite hilarious, not only skewering something pretty specific to a certain generation, but also pairing up guys who you never usually see on screen together.
Just the idea that Fandango and Cena were the commentators was pretty f'n brilliant, given they never interact on SmackDown at all - until this week actually, causing JBL to make a stealth Lance Catamaran/Chet Chetterfield comment.
Another amazing element to SRW was that it just sort of happened without being hyped up. Yes, it's KFC-sponsored/branded content, but this was really creative and we don't know yet whose brainchild it was or how these particular guys (and Lana) got assembled for it. SRW came out of nowhere and just nailed it. It was funny in a way and style that WWE just often can't seem to pull off when they attempt to do comedy bits and beats on RAW and SmackDown. It was like "Wow, look at what CAN be done when, perhaps, one creative voice is guiding the laughs."
Anyhow, it's a ton of fun on a bun and you should watch it. Even if you're totally unfamiliar with some of the things being lampooned. Do it because I say so.
The other non-ring related news that I want to get out of the way is the whole Paige leaked photos/videos deal. This sucks. I feel bad for her. No, I don't think she, or anyone in the videos, should be punished for it, though you also have to wonder what her standing was in the company prior to the leak. She seemed to be on her way out the door as it was, though The Rock now making that movie about her and her family may have scooted her back into management's favor. I'm not sure.
Either way, no one should be shamed for sex or what consenting adults choose to do behind locked cage doors. You do hope that those who are actively on TV and hold a certain celebrity status wouldn't take the risk of filming their endeavors, but that's their choice and their risk. And it's a risk only because the world is filled with scheming a-holes who seek only to humiliate and ruin.
Whatever. That's my two pennies. It's not revolutionary thinking. I just feel bad.
This all leads to TV and to RAW, of course, because people wondered what the Brooklyn crowd would be like and many were curious about how Xavier Woods, who's apparently part of the leaked imagery, would be presented. The answers are A: Surprise (to on one), people were creepy asshats! and B: Woods appeared backstage, where New Day was allowed to make an oddball joke. It opened with Big E and Kofi staring at Xavier and then Big E going "So is there something you want to tell us about?"
Thankfully, that was the end of it and Xavier launched into his spiel about 'Mania 33. But yeah, weird little Easter Egg there for... those who were looking for a sex tape joke? That's a strange nod. "This one goes out to all you guys who want us to talk openly about really private things because you feel a certain ownership over us!" At least, on the upside, it showed us that Xavier's staying on TV and that people are keeping it light and no one's getting push-broomed aside.
As for the crowd, they chanted terrible things and the chatter had to be edited all night long. I worry it'll be even worse at 'Mania, provided anyone still cares come that point. We've still got a week for everyone to Eternal Sunshine their minds and move on to the next slice of succulent schadenfreude.
That all wasn't meant to be the crux of this Wrap however. No, I wanted to talk about Bray Wyatt and how I feel, despite all signs pointing to a big Randy win at 'Mania, he should hold onto that WWE Championship a bit longer. "A bit longer" is what I'll settle for in place of "forever," mind you. I just really want Bray to hold the belt through 'Mania. The reasoning here is that in Bray's first big promo after Orton torched his Abigail barn, he rebounded. He bounced back. He basically, after all the tears shed, said "that didn't hurt" and then he smeared Abigail glop all over his beard. He kind of no-sold it, you guys.
Continue on for more about Bray Wyatt, RAW, and SmackDown Live...
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