Say "momentum" again! I dare you! I double dare you, mothereffer! [imagine Jules Winnfield with the suit and the gun and the terrified Frank Whaley and all that]
No, I'm not going to dive back into my dumb ol' momentum rant... but you see what I mean now, right? Nothing but momentum talk heading into both Extreme Rules and Money in the Bank. No one watching wresting in 2017 thinks momentum is a thing that's a thing. Even if Cole insists that "every match tonight, every moment, counts," none of them do and none of it does. It doesn't matter that Roman beat Seth in the main event. Or that Ziggler beat AJ on SmackDown. RAW and Smackdown, on the main event levels, have been empty calories for weeks now. And even though RAW's winding down because its PPV is this weekend, SmackDown still has a few more weeks of this malarky.
At least SmackDown's angle is all funneling toward someone getting that MITB briefcase. Which, although someone's not always holding it, is really the WWE's secondary title. This will be the first year in a while though that MITB is brand specific. Still, it's more exciting than finding out which dude gets to lose to Brock at Balls of Fire.
Basically, that entire storyline is the equivalent of a bunch of guys honking their car horns during morning rush hour because they're angry that they might be late for the job they hate. This is how you want to spend your energy? It's all this backwards race to see who'll lose to Brock. This, of course, all amid rumors that WWE is in fact spinning its wheels until SummerSlam.
Here's some good news though. After this week's big chaotic melee, the SmackDown ladies are getting their own MITB ladder match. Which A: is awesome because it's a first and because so far only RAW was getting all the women's "firsts" during its Charlotte/Sasha feud - The Cell match. The IronWoman bout. The Falls Count Anywhere match (which wasn't a first, but still...). Now SmackDown gets some. And Charlotte because she's on SmackDown, gets some more.
Oh, and B: SmackDown's been running this team warfare angle with the women for more than a month now. They've already had next-to-no stakes for weeks. It's just been tag matches and random match ups between stables that hold little weight. This ladder match actually helps mold this team warfare into something hefty and investable. It'll actually help one of these ladies rise up above the rest.
The SmackDown women's division is a bit of a double-edged sword because their use of all the women all the time creates too level a playing field. On the flip side, it's only a two hour show and it frequently features all its women. RAW has to banish Sasha to 205 Live just so she can get more air time (and hopefully draw Sasha stans like me to 205, which didn't work whoops).
Wow! First ever Money in the Bank Women's Ladder Match! Amazing how #SmackdownLive uses their ENTIRE women roster every Tuesday!
— Nia Jax (@NiaJaxWWE) May 31, 2017
Side note, I think it's awesome that Sasha's not that great a dancer by the way because that means she'll be my friend DON'T TELL ME WHAT THINGS MEAN!
Making the SmackDown MITB match look even better too was the horrid "This is Your Life" style segment on RAW with Alexa Bliss traipsing through Bayley's past - a bit that made everyone watching it want to die and leave an ugly smelly revolting corpse behind that would curse anyone who discovered it. Why is everyone always digging into Bayley's past? Like she's the freakin' Silmarillion. This little segment was dead on arrival.
And I'm not even counting the fact that a Kendo Stick on a Pole match is the least extreme version of any type of weapons match. They could have just made it a Kendo Stick match and had them sticks everywhere (like how they are in any given match really) but instead they've literally said "This match will have one Kendo Stick and these women will take turns with said Kendo Stick, thank you very much." We can't even get a Kendo lightsaber fight this way!
Also, in the end, it's just two women climbing to get a stick that's on top of another stick. Usually, to have something be on a pole that object has to be integral to the story. Once upon the time, the weapon was something that was deeply personal between the two opponents and using it was both brutal and symbolic. There's absolutely nothing special about a Kendo Stick. It's the Rattata of WWE's weapons cache.
Continue on for more from RAW and SmackDown...
Continues
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