Like Wii Sports and Nintendo Land before it, 1-2 Switch is the game that showcases all the Switch's little sensors and buttons with a brimming sense of imagination and fun that is distinctly Nintendo.
At the Switch's UK debut, there were six games on show, but I was told by a senior Nintendo representative at the event that they represent a "small sample" of the experiences included in the full game.
*Important note for the below: a lot of the hats were provided by Nintendo, and while entirely optional, they definitely put me in the right frame of mind to milk an imaginary cow and shoot my boss.
Sit down, ideally on a wood stool, and look into the eyes of your opponent. Grip the Joy-Con – which, for all intents and purposes, is now an udder – and begin to... er, tug. (Yep, sounds rude.)
What you want to do is grasp the Joy-Con and massage it in a downward motion, while releasing the side buttons in a satisfying rhythmic motion. (And... that sounds no better.)
Milk is, of course, meant to make you laugh and feel silly. It looks instantly funny, and you're bound to crack up looking at your opponent while frantically milking an invisible digital cow.
The winner is determined by how many glasses of milk you're able to pour in XX seconds. So best to have strong wrists and a smooth motion. (Dammit.)
The Joy-Con becomes a wooden Samurai sword. Each player takes it in turn to hold the sword above their head. Upon command, they must strike down their opponent, who must catch their sword or face being knocked out.
What happens on the actual screen is almost irrelevant. Most of the game here comes from psyching out your opponent. After the console issues the command to strike, you're free to hit when you like. So you want to bait your opponent into committing themselves prematurely, forcing them into letting down their guard. Like a lot of these games, you look at the screen at the very end to determine who won. The screen functions as the final score board, while the real game takes place in front of it.
This is the game featured prominently in 1, 2 Switch's announcement trailer. Again, it sees you standing opposite your partner, holding the Joy-Con, but this time you hold it down at your side.
After a variable amount of time, the console will bark at you to 'DRAW' – and the winner is, obviously, whomever can raise their gun fastest and pull the trigger first. You look immediately at the screen to reveal who's been shot, but the TV or tablet displays each player's split-second reaction times as well as the angle of their shot. If you aim too high or low, it doesn't count as a killing shot.
Quick Draw is similar to Samurai Training but way more tense and fun, and the addition of the angle and reaction time feedback makes the conclusion of each mini-game way more satisfying.
Wait for the beat and strike a pose. Those are the simple instructions issued to Player 1. Player 2 then has to mimic that move on the next beat.
How best to describe this? It's not really dancing, it's musical statues mixed with tennis. You have to replicate the pose of your opponent, but most important really is reproducing how they're holding their Joy-Con. Presumably it's measuring its position using its in-built gyroscope.
At the end of a match, which consists of each player throwing out three poses each to challenge their opponent, the winner is determined by poses, energy, and timing.
It's probably my least favourite of all the games. Not only because I'm terribly self-conscious but I'm a bit dubious as to what you're really being judged on. There's more to learn about the Joy-Cons but I'm not sure how it's measuring the energy of my performance (which let me tell you, was quite something).
Safe Crack, and the next game, both brilliantly showcase the Joy-Con's HD Rumble feature, which is one of those small features but it's really, really impressive.
You clutch the Joy-Con and rotate your wrist. On screen, a dial on a safe turns through multiple combinations. When you hit the right combination, you feel a distinct bump from the controller. It's subtle and easily passed over, but hold it long enough and the first of three light bulbs illuminates onscreen and you're one step closer to raiding what's inside.
The first time I played this I looked at the screen, finding the onscreen dial and safe quite helpful. But for the second round, I was encouraged to look at my opponent or close my eyes, to focus on the subtle movement of the controller. It was definitely much more tense and fun, as I heard my opponent unlocking the safe while I struggled to find the first combination.
HD rumble. I understand your scepticism. A rumble's a rumble, right?
You may have seen Switch's producer, Yoshiaki Koizumi, demonstrating this feature by holding the controller aloft and apparently experiencing an ice cube rattling around inside. Yeah, I didn't buy it either.
But the final game we played – Ball Count – asks you to guess how many balls are rolling around inside the Joy-Con. The rumble recreates the feeling of tiny ball-bearings rolling around inside the controller as you tip and twist it in your hands. You simply have to guess the number and then place your controller down on the table. The answer, and winner, is then revealed.
Like a lot of the 1-2 Switch experiences it's quick and punchy, but it makes the most out of this neat little improvement, which may have otherwise remained an anonymous bullet-point on a longer list of features.
1-2 Switch is the game that showcases the eccentric charm of Nintendo's latest console unlike any other title. A video game that tells you to disregard the screen is a rarity, and I cannot wait to play more of its truly unique and usual experiences. If nothing else today, I've learned I'm not very good at milking cows, cracking safes, or guessing the number of balls within a Joy-Con.
Daniel is IGN's UK Managing Editor. He sometimes writes about movies, too. You can be part of the world's most embarrassing cult by following him on IGN and Twitter.
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