mercredi 17 mai 2017

Wrestling Wrap Up: Braun Out With Injury (Which is Terrible)


Plus, Randy Orton and Bully Ray be beefin', Breezango continues to be awesome, Goldust betrays R-Truth, and more.

Well(p, optional)

Braun's out. Down for six months with a shattered elbow and now the struggle to muster interest in weekly WWE programming begins. We'd already settled into the post-WrestleMania slump, with little to light our way -- save for Fashion Files, Alexa promos, watching Sami Zayn constantly get ambushed, and the errant Drifter -- and now the promotions largest and most bulldozer-y star is gone.

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It's just really hard to build solid momentum using the Superstars of today because of these injuries. All the more reason why they should have capitalized on Braun months back and given him a prime WrestleMania spot instead of shoving him to the side for the weeks following his loss to Roman at Fastlane. Because you just never know. Braun was on top of the world and now he's gotta sit things out for a while. This all shades of terrible.

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But let's find some smiles here. Some bright patches.

  • The pop Braun gets when he returns will be deafening. Time away will make him even more pushable.
  • Braun vs. Brock is better for a big PPV, not that Great Balls of Fire jock itch in July. So best case scenario? SummerSlam. Worst? Survivor Series. He won't be out the full six months though, I don't think.
  • Guys like Finn, Seth, and Bray can now actively go for the gold instead of hovering around the mid-card.
  • That's it. That's all I got. Still, a victory in my mind.

At least they ran that "Roman attack's the arm" spot last week so that Braun's injury can be better incorporated into the feud and angle. That's a good thing, as much as I hate seeing Roman come out on top of anything.

Still though, I don't get how Roman can continue to be the "Big Dog," with that yard and everything, if he loses. That "Yard" should be on the line for every match, really. It's the new Million Dollar Belt. For example, Roman beat Finn on RAW (I know, all the boos from all the mouths), so Roman gets to keep said yard. But once Braun destroyed him at that last PPV, the yard should have been Braun's. Or, in the very least, vacant. Roman needs to win every time or it's just not his yard at all.

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Basically, you can't be a Big Yard Dog Thing if you're on a full time schedule. It worked for Taker because by the time he was the Yard Dog, he was wrestling once a year and dominating. Also, the moniker spoke to Taker's tenured position as a respected veteran and a locker room leader. It wasn't just about his matches. So it doesn't fit Roman because he doesn't have the legacy or the dominance. Whatever. I'm just shouting into a paper bag. Or worse, ranting on the internebz. It's just noise.

One more thing though - the promo Finn used on RAW against Roman, about how it's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog? Those same words could be said by Roman TO BRAUN. Because Braun's bigger. So again, he can't be Big Dog.

I guess the other big news for this Wrap Up was Randy Orton -- OUTTA NOWHERE -- just s***ting all over Bully Ray in a tweet. Then that tweet got a reataliatory tweet, then that tweet got an "apology," and since then everything has snowballed into This Week's Thing.

Now, all Bully did was tweet about him doing "DIVE" off some ropes. I don't know if there was previous beef between him and Randy, but the best explanation is that Randy's just sort of a prickly punk and he always has been. So after Orton dumped on Bully, Twitter got all bent and Randy issued this mea culpa...

Yup. That's Randy being Randy. Funny thing is, there's a lot of folks, including myself, who want to see THIS Randy in the ring. This type of douchey fire. Because right now whenever Randy gets in the ring, against anyone, it's the Irresistible Snores vs. the Immovable Blah-bject. I feel like Randy still might be bitter about getting those huge "BO-RING!" RAW-After-Mania chants, back at the IZOD Center, during his infamously boring umpteenth match with Sheamus. He's a salty dog and he should be set free to salt some stews.

Also, is he going to sign off with "Headlock" now? I feel assaulted. Granted, he's trolling because it's a boring hold and he's been accused of being dry in the ring, and my "Kneelift!" closer has its own weird story that only people who've been reading this Wrap for the past 10 years might remember, but it's too close to home. I no like. Against.

So, back to the online feud that'll dissipate in a few days. Bully tweeted back, rightfully crapping on the House of Horrors match (which wasn't Randy's doing, btw) and then Randy started getting extra onion-y about the whole "DIVE" thing...

And, like all memes and beefs and beefy memes, it wound up as a sign on TV. The circle is complete. And that's how babies get made.

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